“The Everyday Addictions That Are Destroying Your Business and Family” W/ Dr. Eva Malanowski
Daring Divas June Spotlight with Dr. Eva Malanowski was all about how the connection to oneself is deeply healing. “The everyday addictions that are destroying your business and family” was a powerful important topic and Dr. Eva beautifully delivered it with grace, heart, and vulnerability.
A little bit about Dr. Eva
As an Addictions Coach and Psychologist, Dr. Eva A. Malanowski helps professionals transform the pain, shame, and guilt of various addictions such as food, work, substance abuse and pornography, through healing childhood wounds and helping people get “un-stuck” from childhood trauma, so that they can finally reach emotional maturity and fully utilize their hidden talents and gifts.
Dr. Eva has never shied away from working with the most challenging problems individuals face. Her inspiration has come from observing and encouraging the life force that propels people to seek growth in even the most difficult circumstances. She has 18 years of experience facilitating personal transformation.
During her Spotlight, Dr. Eva shared with us, how she herself struggled with stressed, anxiety and food addiction throughout her childhood and into her twenties. The practices she shared with us are some of what she implemented in her life to heal her past traumas and now lead a thriving healthy life.
Let’s dive in
What are some of the “Everyday Addictions” and distractions that hold us back from fully thriving in business, relationships and life?
Information overload - phones and social media
Today’s phones and electronics are designed by using behavioral theory to be extremely addictive. Add to that the constant need to check in on everyone else’s world on Social Media, this is one of today’s everyday addictions that create noise and distraction from what’s important. Especially when it comes to children and how they are affected by the use of these devices. Multiple studies show that children report feeling “unimportant” when parents are on their phones during meals, conversations, and other family activities.
From a very early age, children’s ability to process pleasure and engage in social activity is dependent on receiving consistent, dependable and focused attention. Constantly being on a smartphone while in the presence of children is a type of psychological withdrawal.
Stimulants and Depressants
From morning to night, we can find ourselves reaching for these. There’s our Coffee and other caffeinated drinks that help us get up and get us ready to perform. And then we have those things that help us settle down, such as our wine or pot. But what these do is mess up our self-regulation system, these “little mother’s helpers” may help us deal with life, but it becomes harder to find what our equilibrium is… “who we are without them” and we become dependent on them.
For a lot of us, food is a big one. Believe it or not food is a form of stimulant that can provide temporary comfort, especially when dealing with stress. If you find yourself reaching for snacks throughout the day to help you keep going and/or cope with daily stresses, it’s a good indication, this is one of those everyday addictions creating distraction for you.
How do we combat these distractions that help us deal with today’s fast-paced, overload lifestyle?
Main points and practices Dr. Eva shared
- The Idea of Self Talk
- Top Values
- Micro Checks
- Future Self
The Idea of Self Talk
Talking to yourself as these three different people: a good parent, a coach and a best friend. Depending on the situation and what self-talk you need at any given moment, ask and receive answers, advice, compliments from one of those people.
It goes without saying the countless studies that show the benefits of meditation. Having time to connect with yourself is one of the most beneficial healing modalities we all can do. Take at least 20 minutes per day to pause and connect with self.
Clarify what your top values are, when you know what your top values are, you can use these to make decisions. The daily decisions that will help you minimize the noise of the “everyday addictions”. If one of your top values is to be a good mom, then when is time to connect with your child, it will be easier to put that phone away.
Throughout the day, check in with yourself and as you encounter those stresses that lead you to reach for the “distractions”, you can counter them. Ask yourself and your inner self as if asking your inner child; how is she doing? What can I do right now to make you feel better? It can be as simple as going outside, or doing a few stretches, or looking at a picture that brings you joy. Take mini vacations from the state of stress to bring you back to your present moment. These micro checks will help you keep your vitality throughout the day without reaching for a “crutch” to keep yourself going.
Your Future Self
This is about treating yourself now how you want to be your future self to be treated. Nourish your body with health from the inside out, starting with the practices above and with good quality healthy food that is vital for your future self. It’s also about surrounding yourself with supportive, kind people and relationships that foster success. Reach out to Dr. Eva to learn about the future self exercise she shared with us.
Seemingly minor habits are acturally life-draining addictions that lead you to self-sabotage. By cutting out the noise of these distractions you will increase your energy and can truly thrive. Use the practices above to reclaim your life-force so your true talents can shine!
To learn more about these practices and how you can incorporate them, reach out to Dr. Eva here. I know she would love to hear from you.
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“The Everyday Addictions that Are Destroying Your Business and Family” W/ Dr. Eva Malanowski
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